wordplay

jan 12/10


My head is full of thoughts. all tangled, the picture that floats up would look like a typical mess-- tangled, wired. So i decided to put ‘em down, just some jumbled thoughts. Hmm, like Carrie from Sex and the City, just myself as the author is not half as fashionable as she is, nor am i writing for newspaper columns as a living. Sounds sweet hey? I would love to write for a living in the future, if anyone would like to publish my books...or anything. Yea, just imagining, and please don’t call me a stupid fool for having such big dreams..but as my name gets out there as a writer, it’s pretty cool how it can act as sort of a showoff to those who have offended me, looked down at me, disapproved my opinions.
Speaking of opinions, in these years of living so far, I have only realized about my ego recently. I’m a very opinionated person. Am i? I thought i wasn’t. I once thought i was smart. I don’t accept people for who they are, in some sense. I don’t accept other people’s beliefs nor their own ideas, even, at some point. Wow I’m horrible.
No, facebook is more horrible, facebook’s a jackass. The want to be important, to portray a popular impression with lots of gorgeous photos with different people, the image of one that has a busy and glamorous life, the urge for 999 comments on witty statuses... when you do have those things, its like a guilty pleasure; it fulfills all those needs and wants, very materialistic and on-the-surface but satisfying and subconsciously desirable-- you know that it’s JUST facebook, you know that popularity and divas don’t last, yet you die to become a member of them. However, when you don’t have those things... yea when you’re stuck at home reading textbooks but more like getting distracted by practically anything, or when you’re socially retarded, no nights out to hippy restaurants for rock ‘n roll sushi, therefore no pictures to prove your wonderful, drunken times...or just when you simply don’t have friends, you feel down in the dumps. The feeling of exclusion, outcast, boredom, like you’ve been pretending your way through life, with all those friends that came and left, the good times that are proven with pictures... more ironically, it doesn’t get any worse when you see all those people that were in the pictures with you, all smiling, making funny faces, whatever, no longer pay attention to you. Worst of all, they hate you. Facebook discriminates too.

but i still love you fb. just some spaz at times <3

Right now I think I know how those old-fashioned people feel when their tradition and value are categorized as “close-minded”. Our society is undergoing a revolution, the new generation can almost accept anything. kinky shit in those lyrics, early sex, no communication with parents, or even anyone, etc. If a person from even just one generation up argued for the importance in tradition, he’d get owned because people are just so good at bullshitting, making sense of things that don’t make sense. His values would be denied because one should be more open to things and not be so opinionated. But some of those new opinions are just wrong, they are fucked up, they were never acceptable just a decade ago, they are twisted...they might not even be moral. Just like when I voice out my thoughts, and returned with bitchslap in the face as “crossed-the-line” because I’m interfering with others’ beliefs. Well, if one believes something to be true,then other “truths” wouldnt be true to him now, would they? sometimes its important to remember whats black and whats white, instead of staying in that obscure grey zone.

it’s all about the wordplay. The world is smart. The world is ignorant. It’s bliss? The world is too much to handle. Never possible to compromise, to find justice. God’s too nice because it allows anyone to stay on this planet.

But I’m not living in this place alone, so therefore I have to accept different people with their opinions. Here, one of my resolutions for the new year.